Kindness — A price to pay in the modern world
I recently saw a debate on TV where the topic was Human values vs Business profits. An old couple were running a hotel , where they charged dead cheap prices which only recovered the price incurred for the raw materials. They had a solid moral compass and they firmly believed they weren’t running a business but service. They were well into their 60’s and they did not have kids. Whilst this heartwarming tale reassured me that kindness still exists in this universe , an explanation from the opposite camp stunned me. A young man stood up and said that this model of work would have made sense decades ago, but in present times the old couples were fools or ignorant to not see profits from their work. He questioned about the uncertain future they would be facing in the old age without any money to their name.Even though I felt a rush of blood to my temple, his argument was sensible in a world where healthcare is not a public service but a top performing stock. At the end , some compassionate members in the values group came to the front and claimed they would take care of the moral elders. Even though the entire event was endearing and made for good viewing, one question still bothered me. When did this equation manifest it self.
Being kind = Easily exploitable
To even to try to understand this conundrum , we might have to look at some unrelated walks of life.
Power of speech
Powerful speeches can be used to gather masses for a cause , motivate employees to deliver their best performances or inspire young talents to reach heights. Almost all of our chosen leaders are excellent orators . Be it for a country or a corporate, the boss must be a convincing public speaker to always have the public favor . While all this is absolutely true , I would like to mention one of history’s powerful speaker of all time , Hitler. That’s the flip-side of oration . Persuasive speeches can influence the ignorant public to form a majority. As there is a famous quote from Kafka
“One idiot is one idiot. Two idiots are two idiots. Ten thousand idiots are a political party.”
The society reveres extroverts who can think on their feet . Soft spoken deep thinkers are marginalized as shy introverts . Whilst these polarities do exist in behavioral spectrum, the question if outspokenness equates to leadership still remains. To explain this better , I need to borrow an example from a book Quiet , By Susan Cain.
The art of public speaking
Toastmasters is one of the most recommended ways to master your public speaking skills, which roughly translates to leadership skills in the corporate world. There’s apparently a famous exercise called “Truth or Lie”, where the speaker should tell a story to some 15 member audience.The audience have to guess if the story was true or false.Though this sounds exciting for an exercise to improve spokesman ship, from a moral perspective we can drill it down to “Persuade people with convincing lies”. That’s the power of speech.Morals can be overlooked ,Truth can be blurred as long as you can make a convincing argument which can even be illogical. That arrogant fellow who makes great presentations is worshiped whereas the corporate ladder is unforgiving for compassionate, feedback-welcoming individuals. I’m not trying to say , all extroverts are arrogant , but arrogant extroverts are easily tolerated while kind humble introverts are branded as shy, anti-social nerds by the society , especially in corporate world. When you start tolerating arrogance , kindness tend to fade in the background.
Givers vs Takers
I have this colleague in my team who always starts a conversation withe same , simple statement . “What can I do for you ?”. That simple yet powerful question underlines everything about a person who wants to help his team and teammates. In better words to empower his team mates. Adam grant , a famous behavioral researcher identifies such personalities as Givers. At the other end of this behavioral spectrum lies Takers.To quote him ,
The takers are people who, when they walk into an interaction with another person, are trying to get as much as possible from that person and contribute as little as they can in return, thinking that’s the shortest and most direct path to achieving their own goals.
Keeping takers out of your team is immense to safeguard the Givers and selflessness associated to them. Givers are not emotional fools .They are pragmatic intellectuals who simply understand the fact that helping fellow individuals will make their lives easier. You might start thinking that Givers who prefer to be at the contributing end of an interaction would not make much progress in their career, but there is an entire book backed by statistical data to convince you otherwise.In short terms, Kind people excel at their careers contrary to the popular belief. Because success is not just about winning a competition but it is more about making a meaningful contribution.
The quickest way to get rich
I had a personal experience with a roadside tender coconut seller , where I forgot my wallet. I was really embarrassed to convey the matter , but the lady was more than happy to offer me another drink. Obviously , I came back with the money immediately to repay her, where I saw her giving the drink to a homeless man who obviously was not in a state to repay her anytime soon. I was moved by her kindness , and asked what was the source of her coconuts and if she was getting it from her own land. She was sourcing capital from some local loan shark , since banks were not willing to lend her any money. She had to pay exorbitant interest rates on a daily basis. I was caught in between a state of surprise and remorse. On one hand, her selfless heart was overwhelming , on the other hand a deep shame hit me because we as a society are failing to appreciate and support such kind souls. I never understood terms like magnanimous until I met her. How did she find it in her heart , to trust strangers , extend her support to the underprivileged , when she had an unpredictable evening hanging over her head. Though I do not possess the godly ability to peer into her mind , I understood the quickest path to get rich that same day.
Final thoughts
In this capitalistic world, the majority of us are constantly distracted by a variety of factors: Social media, Money , Health to name a few. There is a famous saying by stoic philosophers , “Memento mori” which roughly translates to “Remember you have to die”. Even though there are massive scientific advancements from 360 BC to present day , the inner problems faced by our minds remains the same.When you realize the temporariness of life , being kind becomes relevant. History books teach us that people understand the power of kindness in the face of a crisis.Humane Stories about India-Pakistan partition, Auschwitz concentration camps , Chennai Floods reiterates the same fact. Let us not wait for the next crisis , to find our inner super power to love one another.
